Unaware

Written for:  Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads
Micro-Poetry:  Dark Emeralds
Write a poem in no more than 10 lines.

 

unaware of blue mist dotting my face until
I inhaled salt of ocean.

http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/

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About purplepeninportland

I am a freelance poet, born and bred in Brooklyn, New York. I live with my husband, John, and two charming rescue dogs–Marion Miller and Murphy. We spent eight lovely years in Portland, OR, but are in the process of returning to New York. My goal is to create and share poetry with others who write, or simply enjoy reading poetry. I hope to touch a nerve in you, and feel your sparks as well.
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18 Responses to Unaware

  1. scribblersdip says:

    simple but so powerful – often the ocean has that affect – and I like how you’ve phrased this – it makes it feel like the writer and the reader are becoming one with the mist, the salt, the water – how interesting …. 🙂

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  2. I’m pretty sure I just felt sea-spray on my face… And it is glorious!

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  3. Rosemary Nissen-Wade says:

    Oh,delectable. I too thought for a moment that I felt it.

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  4. M says:

    really good, Sara ~

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  5. sanaarizvi says:

    This is incredibly penned!

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  6. Gillena Cox says:

    Nice one Sara

    much love…

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  7. Kerry says:

    This is such a perfect moment captured in words. Love it!

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  8. I think I will take my vacation now.

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  9. 1sojournal says:

    Really like what you say and how it feels, but would like to make a suggestion? Think it would be much stronger if you broke the two lines into four.

    unaware of blue mist
    dotting my face
    until I inhaled
    salt of ocean.

    It allows your reader to actually breathe in the words, and fully appreciate each one. Don’t mean to be nasty in any way. Just a suggestion, because I really like what you wrote.

    Elizabeth

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