Writing Technique-“Exquisite Detail”

Written for:  Carpe Diem Tanka Splendor #25th, Teika’s 9th Tanka Writing Technique – Exquisite Detail (prompt: charcoal)

This style is indicated by exact and precise details with often complex imagery. In Teika’s anthology of tanka styles he has 29 examples. One of which is one from the Kokinshū, #4:193, written by Ōno Chisato (890-905):

gazing at the moon
a thousand sad things
overcome me
not only I feel this
in autumn alone

—————-

in the meadow
peeling the leaves of daisies,
does she loves me?
dreaming In front of the fireplace
I look into the charcoal

© Chèvrefeuille (our host)

Here is my attempt:

charcoal drawing
woman sits at table
each brow drawn in lines
she sees in the mirror
long black hair threaded silver

http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.nl/

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About purplepeninportland

I am a freelance poet, born and bred in Brooklyn, New York. I live with my husband, John, and two charming rescue dogs–Marion Miller and Murphy. We spent eight lovely years in Portland, OR, but are in the process of returning to New York. My goal is to create and share poetry with others who write, or simply enjoy reading poetry. I hope to touch a nerve in you, and feel your sparks as well.
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2 Responses to Writing Technique-“Exquisite Detail”

  1. ihatepoetry says:

    Self-portrait? Sketch? Wonderful read, for sure.

    Like

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